My nook

Nook noun \ˈnu̇k\

1. chiefly Scottish : a right-angled corner

2. a : an interior angle formed by two meeting walls

b : a secluded or sheltered place or part nook and cranny>c : a small often recessed section of a larger room breakfast nook>

I'd say that all of these components of the definition more or less describe my room at school. It is, in fact, located in a right-angled corner of the kindergarten hallway, and it most certainly consists of an interior angle formed by two meeting walls. I would say that for the most part, it's a secluded or sheltered part of the school (it's shaped such that a good part of the room is not really visible to people outside the room), and at times, I'd describe it as a recessed section of the kindergarten hallway/room.

I spent a couple of solid hours making this described nook as homey as possible, and I'd say at this point, I'm mostly lacking a couple of things hanging from the ceiling to brighten up the room (I'm thinking some lanterns??).

Pretty much the entire length of the room

Double duty

As of yesterday, I have assumed a new title (drumroll please...) Chinese school teacher!! This may come as a surprise, since I've pretty much got my hands full with my normal duties as a special education teacher and a student of special education pedagogy, and my Chinese really isn't all that awesome; am I a fluent speaker? Yes. Do I have experience in the classroom? Yes. Am I a fluent reader? Not so much...but I get by! Do I enunciate "properly/roll my tongue at appropriate times (not the Beijing style! more like, su vs. shu)? Not so much. Do I really distinguish between the second and third tones? Nope! And yet, here I am, a teacher in the field, at none other than my Chinese school alma mater, if you will. Which means that the stakes are higher in more than one way:1) As someone educated in the system, I feel as though I have something to prove to the parents of my students; 2) My mom is apparently an awesome teacher of the advanced class and as the daughter of said awesome teacher, in theory, I should be nothing short of an awesome teacher myself; 3) I'm returning as someone who has gone through some education training, and so the expectation (and why I was hired in the first place) is that I can apply what I've learned in the field to my Chinese training. Which is why, apparently, it's acceptable that I'm a bit lacking in some Chinese skills. To further throw a wrench in my abilities to educate these kiddos, I'm teaching a pinyin class. For those of you don't know, I am a devout ㄅㄆㄇㄈbeliever.

In retrospect, I really put much thought when I first accepted the position (first as an alternate, if the first P2 class exceeded 20 students...which it has). I just thought it'd be cool to teach at a place in which I was familiar, and it was an additional teaching experience that wasn't necessarily tied to special education (plus, there was an added source of salary!). But, as the first day of school (yesterday) drew nearer, I started getting cold feet-circumstances had changed since I first accepted, since I now attend Fordham, my faith in my Chinese skills wavered, and this meant that I wouldn't have Sundays free to go places and really enjoy my free time.

Yet, the first day of school came and went, and although I was co-teaching (acting as an assistance for the first 2 hours, then taking over the last hour), teaching didn't seem all that bad! I'm sure that it'll take me a while to get the hang of things (so many questions still unanswered, such as, just how much English is appropriate? I am teaching a class of students who don't really have a Mandarin background/foundation, after all), but this is the kind of challenge that I thrive on. And as long as I make the lesson plans on Sunday after school, it really only takes me an hour and a half or so to hammer it out (if I'm really focused). As an added bonus, my classroom has a document camera that I have access to! There's a smart board too, but unfortunately, no access to that.

Will this additional experience, as I hope, serve as an opportunity to sharpen my teaching ability, or will it prove to be a frustrating and unwise choice on my part? Dun, dun, duuuun! Only time will tell. ;)

First day of school, 2011-second edition

September 7th, 2011. The mark of another "important" landmark in my life-my first day of school as a graduate student. As I sat in my first class as a graduate student, it felt unlike any other "first days" I've had. For one, I hadn't been stressing the night before about what I'd be wearing (it didn't help that I had gotten home from orientation at 9:30, which, on any other day, is my bedtime). I also didn't feel any sense of urgency. The fact that I hadn't officially received my acceptance letter until 3 hours before my first class probably didn't help matters either. To be frank, this really just increased my frustration with the whole situation (my education at TC has been denied to deal with all of these logistical uh-ohs? Again, had I known, I probably would've made different post-graduation plans). I was late-or so I thought-to my first class because I thought I'd cleverly take the orange line instead because it has less stops, only to find that the train itself moved at half the pace of the red lines. In short, my first day of school as a graduate student was incredibly anticlimactic.

**at this point, my computer ran out of batteries, and I lacked the energy to walk all the way downstairs to get a charger, hence the day-late upload.

I will say, however, that I am excited for my education. Although I really appreciate everything that my undergraduate program provided, I always felt like I was lacking the fundamental content knowledge that would improve my teaching. My struggles at institute this summer were a testament to my severely limited content knowledge (and yet I still passed the teaching exam with flying colors-such high standards...). Obviously, most adult know how to add two digit numbers with regrouping. But I challenge you to try explaining what REALLY happens (what, exactly, does carrying mean?) to a group of second graders, or even other adults, and see how successful you are. And I'm definitely struggling to think of ways to best support my students, and so I'm optimistic that this opportunity will really inform my classroom teaching.

I've made it a priority to consolidate my two classes (a math and a literacy course) into one night, so that I don't have to go to school twice a week, from 7-9, which means that I have two back to back classes every Wednesday, which means that my day starts at 5 AM, and ends at approximately 12 PM (after I've showered, gotten ready for bed and all). I anticipated an unproductive next-day, but was pleasantly surprised by my sustained energy throughout the day. We'll see how long that lasts for.

Still, I've begun to consider living in the city-waking up at dawn, only to be in a windowless room for 9 hours and return home just in time to eat and sleep at late hours, the stresses of a commute (e.g. today we were delayed 30 min., with delays at all 3 transfer points I must take) have been enough to make me second guess my living situation.

In short, along with my general sentiments regarding my placement in this program, my first day of grad school was lackluster. But hopefully, from here on out, it can only get better!

Bumps in the road

Today was by far the most difficult day in the Kindergarten classes (across the board). There were tantrums, trips to the no-sensory room (for the most defiant and unsafe behaviors), trips to the deans' office (though that's not unique to today), and apparently a suspension.

Because we are faced with such dangerous behaviors in conjunction with a whole slew of other inappropriate behavior, we often find that we must pick and choose our battles. As a result, despite the huge emphasize on 100% of scholars on task and sweating the small stuff at our school, students tend to get away with relatively less harmful behaviors that are still highly unacceptable (e.g. not sitting in SLANT position on the rug is okay because a scholar isn't hitting her neighbors). At some point, it's necessary to consider the impact that these little behaviors have on the general classroom culture.

I have my own hypotheses, but I'm curious to hear from you-how do you think not "sweating the small stuff" with certain students because it's not developmentally appropriate affects classroom culture? What strategies might you use to get 100% appropriate behaviors?

A true teacher....

Although I've only been truly "in the field" (i.e. in classrooms) for a week and a half, it feels like school's been in session for months. Some background info: last week consisted of half-days, a period of time when we get to know the students, introduce routines, procedures, etc. The purpose of this week is to get the students accustomed to the school routine, and take small steps that will help them become more successful when the full 9-hour day schedule sets in, and hence, it is dubbed "Small Successes Academy" (cute, eh?).

Throughout the past couple of days, I've started to learn about not only about the life of a school teacher (the distinction between a school teacher and a classroom teacher is that a school teacher is any teacher in the school, whereas a classroom teacher is one that is teaching in the classroom. So intuitive...but not.), but also about the life of a special education teacher (as a literacy specialist, this would be the best way to categorize me, which has its pros and cons. However, that's a reflection/venting session for an entirely different post). Although there's a lot of overlap in the experiences of a school and special education teacher (in fact, special education teachers are under the umbrella of school teachers), for simplicity's sake, I've decided to categorize experiences into these two buckets. For those of you not in education, consider this an educational glimpse (har har...) into the life of a teacher. After all, this is a blog about the life of an elementary school teacher. For those of you in education, feel free to empathize or add on! Disclaimer: these observation-reflections probably only scratch the surface of teachers' lives and may even be non-applicable to some teachers.

School teachers...(at my school anyhow)

• wake up early. The school day starts at 7:15, which means that I wake up at 5 am to take a 5:30 train. This means that it's pitch black when I wake up and leave the house. And nothing is open, including the Dunkin Donuts. The only place that is open is a local breakfast joint called Homefries (I'm determined to try it once I am more functional at 5:20 AM). It's a lonely, lonely walk to the station. Fortunately, the moon and stars keep me company
• ideally know all the names of at least 75% of the scholars in the school
• constantly reinforce aspects that make a "strong classroom community," such as "Mmm...you were just running in the hall. Walk back and try again....Much better-I knew you could do it!", "Check your uniform-tuck that shirt in!". Or my favorite interaction, and quite possibly one of the most frequent-

T: Good morning [insert scholar name]. Reach out for handshake.

S: mumble mumble mumble. Limp hand and looking everywhere except at the teacher

T: Nope. Look at me when you say it. Try again.

*on a side note-yes, still not 100% there, but you absolutely have to celebrate the small successes! Otherwise, you might be in the dumps feeling like you're an inefficient teacher for weeks on end.

S: Tries again. Repeat until gets it right

• pop up everywhere to scholars' surprise and mild displeasure ("I walk by the bathroom just as you're causing a ruckus-what a 'coincidence'")
• can be seamlessly integrated into classroom teaching

Special education teachers...

• are often summoned to relieve the classroom teachers of children that are:

a) crawling on the floor

b) sprawled out on the floor

c) standing on tables

d) hiding under tables

e) all of the above (aka glorified babysitting)

I can't say that any of these were in my job description (not that I really had a job description to begin with...), but it is primarily a result of our Small Success Academy support system, as all non-classroom teachers were oscillating in and out of the classrooms to help make the beginning of the school year as strong as possible; whether or not that actually happened...that's another story. Thus, we often found ourselves hauling out small peoples, some of whom are actually quite large for their age, which brings me to my next point...

• extracting scholars that are making unsafe decisions. Sometimes, this can be civil, with two human beings walking side-by-side. Other times, this can look like a 5 minute chase around the room, or a literal picking up of a child (though for what it's worth, it's a really great arm workout), or a dragging out of a screaming child (or at one point, a scholar laughing maniacally). As a result, there have been some bruises and scratches. Occupational hazard.
• at times, I feel shafted (secondary to classroom teachers)

Still, I'm completely new to the world of special education, so this might all change in a couple of months. On that note, because we're such a small team, and my "supervisor" (special education coordinator) is so swamped with so many things (e.g. there's currently a para crisis), I've had minimal to no direction, and so I'm mostly winging everything. Unfortunately, with my lack of expertise, this is a dangerous situation. Blah.

I've formally been inducted into the teaching world, and yet I still don't necessarily feel like a true teacher. Now to put my finger on the factors that are preventing me from feeling like a true teacher....

The First Day of School (yes, it's only mid-August...)

Tomorrow's the first day of school with our babies (the Kindergarteners; Tuesday for everyone else) and I'm psyched...the time when teaching is no longer just an idea, but reality has come. There were times during the past two weeks when I was a bit down, as everyone was working to prepare their classrooms for tomorrow while I really had no idea what my room should look like (I got as far as having a word wall and some borders, pictures coming soon), and would find myself spending my time outsourcing myself to help others set up (which always provoked a certain yearning to have my own classroom...as cheesy as that is!) or on gchat (thanks to those that entertained me!). To make matters worse, despite having spent a good couple of days in training, I still had no idea as to what my role would entail (aside from working with kids both in and out of the classroom-pushing in vs. pulling out), which produced a whole lot of anxiety in me (I'm definitely more of a planner than a "go-with-the-flow" kind of person when it comes to work). Needless to say, I've experienced quite a bit of frustration (and at least my room is somewhat homey..still looking to invest in lanterns...holler at me if you've got some donations!).

Still, I find myself, the day before the first day of school, as excited as I was 13 years ago (the farthest my memory of the day before the first day of school goes), except now I'm mentally going through my wardrobe to pick out that crucial "first-day-of-school" outfit (by the way, I'm still deciding, so recommendations welcome!). Despite having only been in the field for a mere 2 months, I've already experienced quite a bit of banana peels, but due to my tenacity (for a full 43 minute experience of exemplars and non-exemplars, check out my latest marathon, for a limited time only, since hulu shuffles through these like no other), I remain as motivated as ever, because after all, it's not about us. It's about the kids.

P.S. Here's a clip from The Secretariat that my principal showed us. Brownie points if you can make the connection to my work in education.

Commuter Tales: Commuter Woes

As any commuter can attest to, the trip to work, whether it be a "mere" 30 minutes, or a whopping 1.5 hours (that's what I have), the journey can be a time of reflection ("What are my goals for today?" "I wonder why xyz happened.") or a time of eavesdropping (http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/) or a time of interaction ("You have to be a female to use that ticket?" *cue conversation* ). Whatever the case, in my mere week of traveling, I've found that there are many a story that come from the 3-hours I experience daily on public transportation. Therefore, I've decided to start a series titled "Commuter Tales."

Just for some background info: every morning, I make the 8.2 minute trek (on foot) to the train station. Once I board, it usually takes me 1.6 stops to fall asleep. about 40 minutes later, I transfer to another line, which takes me to Brooklyn, where I proceed to take a Brooklyn bus (whoooaaa. crazy!) for about 10 min. During training, this all happens before 7:30. When school starts (in a week!), this will all happen before 6:30 (which unfortunately means that I'll be waking up before the sun rises, but on the flip side, the walk to the train station blesses me with a breathtaking view of the sunrise!).

Last Monday, I began my first day as a commuter, PUMPED to be starting training at my school (as opposed to the network-wide training at a beautiful-but-not-my-school campus). I woke up pre-alarm, and was feeling good. Day 1 of training. Awesome. High energy. Psyched! But I was tired! A full day of training, starting at 8 (but really, 5:30, when I woke up), really was a foreign concept to my body (I had to fight my body to sit upright...gosh it was tempting to just lay down on a carpet). I was about getting ready to leave to go home when I got a 3-word text from my sister that would really put a damper on my plans to go home, eat a home-cooked meal and pass out. "Trains are down."

Me: What do you mean the trains are down...why?

Her: Apparently there is a hail storm and signals are off, and trains aren't running.

Me: *looks out window* I see kids playing soccer outside, and it's cloudy, sure, but there's no precipitation.

Her: Hailing at Tai ah-yi's, but it's clear skies at home. So, it's whack.

Whack it was. (I actually had no idea how whack it was until I just google searched it)

I went to Penn station, figuring that there are more trains. When I got there, our line had recently been rebooted. Only 20 minutes to go! Though I was super hungry, I passed on the tempting pizza and Auntie Anne's, because how else would I have room to eat some delicious rice + random side dishes? So I settled for a nice jug of sweet tea from Mickey D's. 5 minutes to go, and I'm ready to board, when suddenly the time disappears! APPARENTLY MY TRAIN HAS BEEN CANCELLED. Grr. So I met up with my sister who was chilling at a nearby beer garden until the next train, an hour later, where I proceeded to be antisocial cranky-pants ("I just want to go home. I'm tired."). Day 1 of commuting, and I return home 3 hours after my initial ETA, 1 30 minutes before my self-implemented bedtime. Is this what the life of a commuter is like? Oh gosh, what happens when winter rolls around?! =X

Day 2 of my life as a commuter, and thankfully, the MTA had mostly recovered from the freak hail storm (save a 40 min. complete stop at one point, which I certainly used to maximize my napping time). Training was good, I learned about some neat mathematics pedagogy. Great. Waiting at Jamaica, where I'm holding my required reading (would highly recommend!) for training, when this guy makes eye contact with me and moves as to say "Hello!" At first, I brush it off as a creepster...and then I worry that I actually know him and am being rude by ignoring him. BIG MISTAKE. He inquires about my reading, and upon learning that I'm a teacher, proceeds to ask if he can tell me about this social psychologist whose ideas really should be implemented in the classroom. Thus begins an hour of chatter about random psychologists; importance of empathy; how he thinks my students (special needs) would love it if he came in and spoke to them, because he had a lot of learning disabilities growing up, and just look at how successful he is now!; and at one point, he even felt compelled to show me where he used to live (a white brick house, just next to the train tracks). I stupidly feel obligated to carry on the conversation, and am relieved when my stop comes, and he doesn't get off as well. I figure that I'd probably never see him again.

....except, the next morning, when I arrive at the train station, HE'S THERE. Maybe that was actually his stop and I just never noticed him because I didn't know him, but that skeeved me out a bit. Whatever, I'm only taking that train for a couple more days, and I've decided to use headphones as a "I don't want to talk" cue.

I've taken that experience as a lesson-it can be refreshing, entertaining to talk to other people on the train, but I don't think it's for me. I'd rather not, especially since I often feel obligated to continue conversations, even if I'm uncomfortable.